andrew.pogorzelski
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
by andrew.pogorzelski
I was born a Green Bay Packer fan and I will die a Green Bay Packer fan. It’s not a possibility; it is a fact for all those who consider themselves apart of the Lambeau faithful. You bleed green and gold and you despise blue and orange and purple and yellow. These are the facts of life. Three years ago, there were three certainties in this world: the sky is blue, Vince Lombardi could beat Mike Ditka in an arm wrestling match, and Brett Favre was the greatest quarterback to ever step on the planet Earth. Favre was larger than life, in fact, in Green Bay he was a god.
Then our Father left for the bright lights of New York and we swallowed our pride. He was gone, but he was still ours. He was simply having a Joe Montana moment, when he retired we could embrace him again, he would forever be a Green Bay Packer. Then, the unspeakable happened. Favre signed with the Minnesota Vikings and Green Bay lost its messiah to the dark side. It’s essentially like your grandma telling you she never loved you and that she has always favored the “other” cousins, the ones who would come to Thanksgiving dinner in jeans and wearing Milwaukee Bucks shirts that were found in the clearance bin at Kohl’s. We lost a family member, who continuously brightened our weeks with a victory or made us cry because he has terrible decision making skills (got to strive for that interception record).
Now in my time of reflection, I have wondered if my initial hypothesis of my hero was presumptuous. Is Brett Favre really Jesus or was I simply blinded by the internal light that is Brett Favre’s white smile? Or is Favre the modern day Pontius Pilot to all those who supported the Pack Attack for sixteen years? If Favre is, in fact, the Second Coming of Jesus we must break it down.
The Miracles of Jesus vs. The Two Minute Drills of Favre
Jesus is well known for his miracles, you can do wonders when God is your PR man. This guy walked on water, turned water into wine because they ran out at a wedding, and he even cured the blind. No wonder why so many kids wear those “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelets, Jesus is like Superman if he could grow a beard. Jesus Christ eats kryptonite for breakfast.
Compared to the Son of God, Brett Favre just bombed a ball into a designated area to score points. Sure, he added hope into the lives of those who live in Green Bay (Note to reader: besides the Packers, there is nothing in Green Bay), but Jesus told a man to walk and he did. Favre just told Donald Driver to catch a ball. Although his throw to Antonio Freeman to beat the dreaded Vikings was pretty spectacular…
Jesus: 1 Favre: 0
The Teachings of Jesus vs. Brett Favre Struggling to Get His Point Across to that “Rookie Receiver”
Jesus taught the world how to love our enemies, be good neighbors, and to just chill and not worry about tomorrow. Essentially, a lot of his teachings were the adult version of “Sesame Street”, which some saw as controversial. He just wanted people to know that God loved them, that’s all; he was in it for the long run for his home boys in Jerusalem.
Brett Favre could out throw the messiah, but he did not have the oratory skills to get his point across most of the time. Let’s just say, that when Favre (finally) retires, ESPN would not consider him as a commentator on their Monday Night games. The guy is just too stupid. He has been known for yelling at receivers who cannot retrieve a 100 mile per hour football lodged into their stomach or breaking four of their fingers. Oftentimes, we didn’t know what Favre was flappin’ his gums about most of the time. However, he did teach us that if you throw for 442 touchdowns, you are going to throw 288 interceptions. You can’t have one record without the other.
Jesus: 2 Favre: 0
The Resurrection of Jesus vs. Favre Retiring and Un-Retiring
We all know about how Jesus died for our sins, resurrected from the dead three days later, and so forth we get it. You call that making a scene, son of God? Get your notebook ready.
Brett Favre retired from Green Bay Packers after the 2007 season because he was “tired”. All the man wanted to do was nap, it’s understandable, he’s old. In the summer he wants to come back, but Green Bay has moved on to their up-and-coming quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. Favre was acting like the crazy ex-girlfriend that never goes away, leaving endless voice mails and texting your phone begging to get back together. Green Bay was having none of it, they found someone else. Green Bay then traded Favre to the Jets where he had a decent season. Then he retires, again, this time figuring he isn’t fit enough for the game. This past summer, the Vikings offer him the starting job. He says “no, I’m fine, thanks”. Two weeks later, he wants the job. Who does that? Why can’t he think rationally for more than ten minutes? Because Brett Favre gets what he wants and if anyone gives him lip, you best believe he will roundhouse kick you to the face in his Wrangler jeans. And he’ll look damn good in them for a reasonable price too.
Jesus: 2 Favre: 1
Jesus may take the final tally, but Favre can throw one hell of a spiral and he is the quintessential definition of someone who has redeemed themselves from the terrors of pill-popping and alcoholism. Favre may not be divine, but he has proven that if you play in the NFL for twenty years in a remote area in the north, you can be compared to a religious deity. I guess all it takes to amuse people up there is to toss a ball around once a week. He may have broken our hearts, but he brought a lot of hope to overweight, middle-class workers in Wisconsin and we will always love him for that. But until then, I’m hoping a defensive end breaks his knees. So five years from now, he can salute Lambeau Field when they retire his symbolic number 4 from a wheelchair.
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Saturday, September 26th, 2009
by andrew.pogorzelski
There are some instances in life when you drop everything you’re doing and simply ask, “Did that just happen?” Millions
stared at their television sets and watched the moon landing, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the events of September 11th, and countless other occurrences to watch history in the making. After an explosion of Facebook status updates and Twitter posts, I believe that Kanye West has shoved his way into the forefront of our brains when he stole Taylor Swift’s microphone at the 2009 MTV VMAs. He didn’t just snatch that microphone, he snatched our hearts too.
Continue reading »
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Thursday, August 27th, 2009
by andrew.pogorzelski
By Andrew Pogorzelski
We live in a world today where information is compatible in the palm of our hands, and with this new power we feel a need to let everyone know it. I think technology is a great advancement and resource but my god, some of the things that people do on the Internet irritate the hell out of me. From obsessive-compulsive Facebookers to self-proclaimed philosophers who dominate the “Twittersphere”, some people just have a knack for getting under my skin (and I hope I am not the only one.) Continue reading »
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Friday, May 15th, 2009
by andrew.pogorzelski
Millions of people poured into theaters worldwide to witness one of the year’s best motion pictures, Slumdog Millionaire. Grossing over three-hundred million dollars worldwide and taking home a wheelbarrow of awards, the film is critically acclaimed for its unique delivery and authenticity to the struggle to survive in the Indian slums. Despite the vast amount of awards and accolades the film has received, controversies surrounding the child actors have started to surface. Actress Rubina Ali’s father allegedly put the “Oscar child” up for sale for more than $300,000 according to Entertainment Weekly. The father put Rubina up for adoption in order to, “…consider what’s best for me, my family and Rubina’s future.” Thousands of outraged movie goers and celebrities have clocked in their opinions, saying Ali’s father, Rafiq Quereshi “selling” his daughter is a “soulless” and greedy act.
Rafiq Quereshi is not to blame for this issue. The real issue is not the fact he is putting his daughter up for adoption for cash, it’s the fact that he is forced to. Slumdog has made hundreds of millions of dollars worldwide at the box office and with the recent release on DVD, the movie will continue to generate millions more. Quereshi claims that he needs the money to support his family and do what is best for his daughter, stating, “”Why will we sell her? She is going to earn so much more? Does anyone sell a cow that can still be milked?” Continue reading »
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Monday, April 6th, 2009
by andrew.pogorzelski
After eight long years of fighting two seemingly endless wars, destroying our economy, leaving the Republican party in ruins, and just about everything in between, former (finally) President George W. Bush has left the building. With the swearing in of now (thank God) President Barack Obama, we look to the future and begin to roll up our sleeves to fix this United Mess of America that W left behind for us.
However, these long eight years have not gone unnoticed (obviously) by the music industry. Just when the art of the protest song was presumed dead, or at least M.I.A, a new generation of musicians channeled their inner Bob Dylan and sung out against the commander in chief. Everyone from mainstream radio pop to underground rap to indie to old ‘60s classic rock have chimed in on W’s policies over the past eight years. Good thing George gave them a lot to talk about.
10. DJ Shadow and Radiohead -“Would You Buy a War from This Man?”
Add Radiohead’s eerie track from their 2003 release, “Hail to the Thief”, entitled “The Gloaming” with Dubya spitting out phrases like “nuclear holy warriors” and the infamous “weapons of mass destruction” in a speech to springboard the USA into Iraq. “Would You Buy a War from This Man?” could be the theme song to our dystopian world; where we are constantly paranoid about the declining state of life and how one slipup can lead to mass death with a single push of a button.
- 9. REM – “Living Well is the Best Revenge”
Kicking off 2008’s “Accelerate” with a politically charged, guitar driven anthem was symbolic to the way Michael Stipe has gone about writing music in recent years. Stipe seems to be the square peg in a round hole when juxtaposed with Bush’s policies: he is an anti-war, pro-environment, homosexual songwriter. Talk about being the black sheep in this Bush-topian world we live in. “Living Well is the Best Revenge” directly reflects these frustrations. Stipe howls singing, “you set me up like a lamb to slaughter/the gospel according to who? / I lay right down”. The REM front man refuses to change his way of life, and decided that living well, is in fact, the best revenge against the former President’s demands.
8. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists – “Bomb.Repeat.Bomb”
Ted Leo mixes his own brand of gritty guitars with political satire and sarcasm about the upper class and the deception of political leaders to create one of the finest Bush protest songs. Alluding to old Vietnam theories that “you could mobilize a million troops/but a thousand could probably get the job done”, Ted Leo is able to intertwine the roots of revolution rock to modern times. The War in Iraq is the new Vietnam, and you simply can’t “Bomb.Repeat.Bomb” in order to devastate a population and call it “peace”.
7. Against Me! – “From Her Lips to God’s Ears”
Hands down the most powerful of the Bush protest songs, simply for its brutish force and screams of “Condoleezza”, Against Me! shines light on the hypocrisy of the War in Iraq and the illusion of what freedom truly is. Tom Gabel delivers the song’s (and arguably the album’s) most powerful line, “after all this death and destruction/do your actions really advocate freedom?” Do thousands of American and Iraqi lives justify democracy and does this system truly reflect freedom? Gabel’s rhetorical question may never be answered but it seems that the price of democracy is not worth its value in life.
6. The Decemberists – “16 Military Wives”
Colin Meloy may not be the archetypical spokesperson for the War in Iraq, but with “16 Military Wives” Meloy is able to demonstrate how the media and celebrities take precedent over the war on the television waves. Describing the public as “fourteen cannibal kings” who feast upon celebrities and the pain of the “sixteen military wives”, Meloy is able to reveal America’s necessity for celebrity gossip along with bad news to add reality into their own worlds which may be conquered with boredom and self-loathing.
5. Immortal Technique – “Bin Laden”
One of underground rap’s most prominent lyricists and by far one of the most informed, Immortal Technique raps about the motives of America and how asking questions and demanding truth can be deadly. Immortal Technique preaches of the faux “American Dream” and how beneath its idealistic surface it is filled with greedy politicians (or “professional liars”) and ulterior motives used for financial gain. Being a religious skeptic as well, IT does not believe in the separation of church and state, he believes they are working in unison in order to generate propaganda against the Muslim religion in order to repay for past mistakes. “I am baptized by America/and covered in leeches” exemplifies Immortal’s belief that this “perfect society” is indeed tainted and loaded with corruption.
4. Neil Young – “Let’s Impeach the President”
The song title could not be any more straightforward, it practically spoon feeds you the message Neil Young is trying to portray. Singing in a church-like chorus about Bush shipping all our money to fund a massive war machine, his absence during Katrina, and using religion to his benefit, Young creates a sing-a-long song that actually has depth to it. It is incredibly simple in structure but this simplicity adds to the overall message of the song: by committing injustices against mankind, you do not deserve to be the head of a nation. Amen.
3. The Thermals – “Here’s Your Future”
Who knew the Bible went hand in hand with Dubya’s presidency? Drawing connections to the Great Flood and the crucifixion of Jesus, The Thermals are able to exhibit how our turbulent times are somewhat connected to their religious uncertainty. Katrina is simply our version of the Great Flood and George W. Bush is Jesus-like when answering to a higher authority (God), who he believes gave him advice to invade Iraq.
2. Arcade Fire – “Windowsill”
The rising tensions of our “one click” world, cyber salesman, and the growing need for soldiers in the “holy war” all begin to impede the standard of living. Win Butler mixes string arrangements along with dark ominous tones which create a feeling of isolation while he weeps “I don’t want to live in America no more.” The perfect anthem for paranoid escapists who plan to flee the country to save themselves and their families.
1. Bright Eyes – “When the President Talks to God”
Using his shrill voice, his old acoustic, and a powerful message that perfectly captures President Bush’s dependence religion to make decisions; this is truly the most powerful of the various anti-Bush tunes. Oberst questions if God tells Bush to “rape our women’s right” and to “send poor farm kids off to die” or if the voice is just inside his head. The song is beautifully simple and raw allowing its message to ring clearly and prominently. Symbolically, Conor Oberst is one man standing against an army of thousands, holding only his guitar and his own opinions in line.
Even though poking fun at Bush is like shooting fish in a barrel, hundreds of artists from around the world have pitched in their opinions to bash the former chief. Bob Dylan and Odetta may no longer be the front runners for the political revolution, but they passed the torch to the new generation who are updating the standards of the modern protest song. Dylan would be proud.
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